Blogged Down

Half an hour more of contemplating and I would loose my sanity forever.
On the 5Th of June'08 I decide to start a blog of my own. So after 45 min's of 'contemplation' (....see the word comes again) with the blog name and title and 'URL' selection, I am Blogged down.
So I told you I was contemplating.... This is what its all about. Now don't judge me by this or make opinions about me.
An engineer from Mumbai, India, I joined a financial institution right after my studies, worked there for a year and a half and I wasn't doing too bad.

Well I believe, if a job is worth doing, its worth watching someone else do it.

So...... I quit. Period. No job in hand, vague plans with what I am gonna be doing in the coming month's, basically clueless about whats next. If you are thinking lack of focus, I would say don't.
If I wasn't focused with what I wanted from life, I would still be with the same job doing the same thing day in and day out, with no idea what I achieved and with no time to plan what I wanted to pursue.

I would say I am just more tuned to myself.

I am not an 'Idealist', that would be too romantic, & woman associated with me would strongly disagree !!!! I am more at a 'Zen' like state right now(.....at least it sounds sophisticated than words like Idealist and what does that means anyways.....).

Its funny how a 'Mans brain' works. I say "Mans brain" because I always found women to be more strong willed and determined, and moreover being accused of gender discrimination would be the last thing a rookie blogger like me would want. All the years I was studying, I would fantasize(...stop it right there......its a strong word I know, but still....) being a part of a BIG MNC, with an equally BIG pay. Then I realized reality has a very funny way of leading you on to this carpet of fantasies and then pulling it off from right under your legs so you fall on your ass and then end up feeling like one too. Well my first job in reality was not really a nightmare, it wasn't a fantasy either. I wouldn't deny I got to learn a lot and some of the most interesting people I know today, I met at work.
Now after 18 months of working like a stray dog, my 'Mans brain' kicked in. I started thinking, contemplating...... YES..... That's where it all began, the problem, and it does every time ..... Whenever I 'c-o-n-t-e-m-p-l-a-t-e' it means something's not quite right.

After a month of contemplating, I realized what my problem was.

I was missing STUDIES.

I wont be surprised if you tell me that you wont buy that, that is if you know me. My mom and sister didn't either, because I wasn't really a big fan of books in my defining years. But in reality I actually was missing studies very much.

The plan initially was to pursue an MBA like the millions who take up the entrance test every year. But during a train journey from Bangalore to Mumbai I met some one and the events that followed then led me into considering pursuing a foreign degree. Well UK and Australia are the countries I am focusing on currently, but dunno where I might end up going finally.

Excessive 'CONTEMPLATION' can drive you 'CRAZY' sometimes.......!!!!